August 25, 2008
This is when Doves Cry
I totally stole this from Jimbo's blog but it was too darn funny.....
Posted by Scott at 07:14 AM | Comments (0)
July 22, 2008
Funny Gym Story
Here is a good funny story for you all. This explains why Phillip is my new straight boyfriend. We were at the gym (we are gym partners) and we were doing the bench press maxing out the weight. I was on my last rep barely able to life the weight. But you can see my left side is just a smidgen stronger then my right side.
This causes him to say
"You jack off with your left hand huh?"
Ya that is my kinda person!
Posted by Scott at 03:02 PM | Comments (1)
July 15, 2008
I think I was hit on at the gym today.....
I say I think I was hit on cause I am really bad at noticing these things. I am rather oblivious. So this guy was kinda looking at me, then he finally comes up to me and says "you look familiar". But he says it really quietly to me and REALLY close to me (like almost personal space violation close. So was that him trying to imply that he has seen me at a homo bar?
I was like, sorry you don't look familiar to me. Basically shutting him down and telling him to step off. I am kinda mean huh? But what can I say, I was busy working out and all sweaty and in the zone. And he was not cute so it's not like my brain was in that path of thought.
So take note people, you may hit on me and I may completely not realize it and laugh in your face. It's just a fact of life.....
Posted by Scott at 09:02 AM | Comments (0)
January 28, 2008
I'm so popular Jesus Hates me!...
well jesus906 on youtube anyway.....
You know you have arrived on YouTube when the hate comments start! And mine is from Jesus, that means I rock....
So I made this home improvement video a while back.... And apparently home improvement videos are popular on youtube cause it gets LOTS of hits...
anyway I was laying vinyl tile down in the bathroom. This is what jesus had to say to me, please note this is kinda rude and should not be read by anyone....
YOU Fucking Faggot, Your So Cheap Motherfucker, God Damn I Hate People Like YOU, Always trying to save money, oh and you looked so gay sitting , while you installed it, get your fat ass up, and man up BITCH!
I probably should get kinda mad about it, but wow it's just so over the top stupid that you can't really get mad. I mean can you get mad at a retarded person for doing something stupid? No, you can't it's just they way they are and you go with the flow....
Posted by Scott at 07:18 PM | Comments (2)
December 11, 2007
I'm the man!
Posted by Scott at 08:51 AM | Comments (0)
October 02, 2007
I work in a cave
Earlier this week maintenance replaced all the light bulbs above our cubes with SUPER bright bulbs. Everyone freaked out (cause we are like moles and used to working in the dark). So they came back and put dim bulbs back in. But now it's dimmer then it was before. I am not complaining I actually like working like this, but it is kinda cave like.....
It's only a matter of time before we starting making little "cave" drawings on our cubical walls.....
Posted by Scott at 03:24 PM | Comments (0)
August 21, 2007
Gayest video ever made...
Oh ya... this IS the gayest video EVER made it's totally the best thing EVAR
Posted by Scott at 08:21 AM | Comments (1)
August 08, 2007
Deep Thoughts
When women get fat their boobs get bigger. But when guys get fat their cocks don't get bigger.
No fair!
This is clearly on oversight on Gods part....
Posted by Scott at 10:27 AM | Comments (2)
July 10, 2007
I am not this boring!!!!
Find out which Transformer you are at LiquidGeneration!
Posted by Scott at 07:51 AM | Comments (0)
June 26, 2007
Just cause
I blame Heath for this....
Mingle2 - Online Dating
Posted by Scott at 11:23 AM | Comments (1)
June 06, 2007
I have an eating disorder
I totally spill stuff on myself when I eat, thus staining my shirts. It sucks, and it happens a lot! I hate going back to work after lunch all stained....
I need to invest in a Tide Pen, yes I do!
Posted by Scott at 01:57 PM | Comments (2)
By Any Other Name
[Inspired by Patrick]
Your Real Name: Scott
Your Gangsta Name (1st 4 letters plus izzle): Scotizzle
Your Detective Name (fave color + fave animal): Blue Cat
Your Soap Opera Name (middle name + childhood street): Harold Essex
Your Star Wars Name (last 3 letters of your last name + first 2 letters of your first name + first 3 letters of Mom's maiden name): istscfal
Your Superhero Name (2nd fave color + fave drink): Green Margarita
Your Witness Protection Name (Grandma/Grandpa's first name + Jones): Harold Jones
Your Goth Name (Black + name of one of your pets): Black Coda
Your American Idol Name (fav car and sea food): Jetta Burrito
Your Movie Star Name (sibling's middle name + mother's maiden name): NA
Your Alter Ego (name of one your childhood pets + popular brand of clothes when you were young): Wally Levi
Your Lawyer Name (fav actor's last name + fav hard liquor): Crowe Jager
Your Hip Hop Name (fav candy + fruit): Twix Bannana
Posted by Scott at 01:37 PM | Comments (0)
May 30, 2007
This does not seem accurate
I got t his from It's Just Nothing
| You Are 67% Pure |
 You do have a devilish side though... and it will probably get the better of you. |
Posted by Scott at 08:05 AM | Comments (4)
April 20, 2007
Bear Eye For The Twink Guy
Holy Frak this is funny! I heart youtube
Posted by Scott at 01:30 PM | Comments (0)
Kevin Smith Rocks
And Kevin Smith is totally HAWT!!!!! In fact Kevin Smith should come to Lazy Bear this year....
Posted by Scott at 01:18 PM | Comments (0)
April 19, 2007
What Celebrity Do I Look Like?
Posted by Scott at 09:43 AM | Comments (0)
April 16, 2007
One Liners
- I had to go to HomeDepot yesterday to pick me up some black cock
- I trimmed my carpet to the appropriate size to wrap around my pole
Posted by Scott at 07:38 AM | Comments (2)
April 10, 2007
What the hell?
If you do a search on youtube for "chest hair" you don't get videos of hot guys showing off their hot furry chests, oh no! You get endless videos of guys setting their chest hair on fire. No, I am serious. What the hell? Why on earth would you want to set your chest hair on fire? And why do you want to video tape that? And why must you then broadcast it?
I am confused here folks....
Posted by Scott at 07:56 AM | Comments (2)
March 27, 2007
So wrong yet so funny
This picture is TOO funny.
However its semi politically incorrect so I will post it after the jump.
Posted by Scott at 09:19 AM | Comments (1)
I have a super power....
It's true I do. It's not a very usefull one but I have one. nd here it is.
When I walk under street lights, they go out.
There you got, my super power. You may think I am crazy but it's true. Street lights go out when I walk under them! I don't know why....
Posted by Scott at 08:02 AM | Comments (1)
March 05, 2007
Tag You're It
OMG Shel is back! And I am doing a meme he had on his blog :)
Who am I tagging? Everyone that reads this! And hit me up in my comments when you do it :)
1. Can you cook?
yes actually, although almost never
2. What was your dream growing up?
To be a brain surgeon or a gas station attendent
3. What talent do you wish you had?
Play an instrument
4. Favorite place?
Seattle
5. Favorite vegetable?
UM ewww, none!
6. What was the last book you read?
Eragon
7. What zodiac sign are u ?
Libra
8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
One Tattoo, one piercing
9. Worst Habit?
I never do laundry
10. Do we know each other outside of myspace?
Sorta kinda in blogland
11. What is your favorite sport?
Watching TV!
12. Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
optimistic
13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
Ask you to knock me unconscious as I would probably start having a panic attack from being trapped in an elevator
14. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
Have you ever had a panic attack while driving? I don't recommend it.
15. Tell me one weird fact about you:
I love to watch really bad movies
16. Do you have any pets?
Two cats, gizmo and binki, one dog coda
17. Do u know how to do the macerana?
Um clearly!
18. What time is it where u are now?
8:08
19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
Neither, but they do bug
20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be???
I would be ripped!
21. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
I would be your conscience
22. What color eyes do you have?
Brown
23. Ever been arrested?
No.
24. Bottle or Draft?
I don't drink beer
25. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it?
Sigh.... pay down debt....
26. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew?
Big Red
27. What ’s your favorite bar to hang at?
The Bolt
28. Do you believe in ghosts?
Totally
29. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
TV!!!!!
30. Do you swear a lot?
When I am in a bad mood, hell ya, otherwise not really
31. Biggest pet peeve?
Stupid people
32. In one word, how would you describe yourself?
Fabulous
33. Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
It's on my blog!!!!!
Posted by Scott at 08:03 AM | Comments (2)
February 26, 2007
WTF mate?
We were walking back from the cafe and my buddy Josh (who is straight) totally grabbed my moobs. TWICE!!!! In front of our boss!!!!! This is of course a testament to how wonderfully cool and gloriously dysfunctional we all our (even the boss). I love the team I work for!
Posted by Scott at 08:47 AM | Comments (4)
February 09, 2007
Friday Poetry
OK you know those refrigerator magnets with words that you can use to make sentences? Well I was bored and I wanted to make a sentence that would fill the entire width of my co-workers white board. I ended up with this poem:
That silent moon rain storm will teach her
To remember where horrible winter morning ghost
Always have cold skin and ate dog slowly
Like this prince is when smart woman play
Black cat music full of dark window bugs
Posted by Scott at 08:21 AM | Comments (1)
February 02, 2007
Are you searching for me?
Well I have seen a few of the blogs I read so I figured I would do it too....
Here are the search phrases that lead to my site since I switched to the new server (which is when I blanked all my log files)
- brian bloom pics
- www.vagina.com
- ben browder images
- birkenstocks
- sean astin gallery
- funny breakfast slogan to sell
- goofoffgurl69
- miss flight attendant parody song
- *144 tim 0800
- adrian pasdar shirtless
- adrian pasdar shirtless heroes
- ballcrushing bitches
- bear woof
- gay bear feet
- gay nyquil
- gay stubble
- goofoffgurl69 profile
- health nuts are gonna feel stupid some day. lying in a hospital
- how much ryan renolds has gotten paid per movie
- leathercub
Posted by Scott at 11:09 AM | Comments (0)
January 31, 2007
For you dog lovers out there!
Here are some dog funnies, click on the jump to see them all :)
Posted by Scott at 10:25 AM | Comments (0)
January 30, 2007
iPod meme
My buddy Heath had this meme on his blog so I figured it would be fun to give it a go! It's semi long so I put the actual meme in the extended part of this entry, click to read on!
Here are the instructions:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question.
Q: What does next year have in store for you?
Like You - Evanescence; well clearly I want to be like you, I mean your like the bomb!
Q: What does your love life look like next year?
Infatuation - Christina Aguilera; well it looks like it will be an interesting year!
Q: What do you say when life gets hard?
Dare - Gorillaz; cause when life gets you down you need to shake things up a bit!
Q: Song that reminds you of good times?
The Tunder Rolls - Garth Brooks; Everyone loves a good thunder storm.
Q: What do you think when you get up in the morning?
You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch - RuPaul; Clearly I am not an optimist, and I am beaten down by "the man"
Q: What song will you dance to at your wedding?
Deeper and Deeper - Madonna; my wedding will clearly be x-rated....
Q: Song that reminds you of your first kiss?
Nothing Really Matters - Madonna; Gee it must have sucked huh
Q: Your favourite saying?
Erotica - Madonna; Self explanitory I think....
Q: Favourite place?
Pump It - The Black Eyedpeas; Sonds like a sex club huh...so gay....
Q: Most Missed Memory?
Ooh La La - Goldfrapp; Yup....
Q: What song describes your best friend?
The Summer - Garth Brooks; LOL my best friend took advantage of me!!!
Q: What song describes your ex?
Ray Of Light - Madonna; This is a total lie by the way....
Q: Where would you go on a first date?
Vampires - Pet Shop Boys; Can you say Sunnydale?
Q: Drug of choice?
That Ol' Wind - Garth Brooks; mmmm contact high....
Q: What song describes yourself?
Lying From you - Linkin Park; I'm really not that angry....
Q: What is the thing you like doing most?
Human Nature - Madonna; I am a human, and I like to be human. I totally express myself, never repress myself. Nor am I sorry about it.
Q: The song that best describes the president?
The Only One - Evanescence; ya the only one to be that dumb....
Q: Where will you be in 10 years?
American Honky-Tonk Bar Association - Garth Brooks; Yes it is my life long dream to grow up into a redneck
Q: Your love life right now?
Session - Linkin Park; ummm?
Q: What is your state of mind like at the moment?
Something Beautiful - Robbie Williams; see I am totally shinny happy person
Q: How will you die?
In The night - Pet Shop Boys; right....
Q: The song you’ll put as the subject?
Might Tell You Tonight - Scissor Sisters; best band EVAR!!!!
Posted by Scott at 08:48 AM | Comments (3)
January 26, 2007
Impressions
This guy does 48 impressions in 10 mintues. And a lot of them are rather good.
It also helps that he is totally woofy :)
Posted by Scott at 03:29 PM | Comments (0)
January 25, 2007
Crazy Dreams
So I had this crazy dream last night. We were at work, and there was this bug announcement but they would not tell us (but we all knew it was about the office moving somewhere). Then there was this crazy sequence of events that were very game show like where they tried to have us guess were the office was moving too. Finally they flew us to Tahiti which was where the new office was. It was all really weird.
Posted by Scott at 12:07 PM | Comments (0)
January 22, 2007
For all you managers out there
I saw this on Nearing Zero
This should be the mantra of 2007 right?
Posted by Scott at 09:01 AM | Comments (1)
January 09, 2007
Tuesday Funnies
While we patiently wait for Steve Job's keynote lets have some fun!
Posted by Scott at 08:48 AM | Comments (1)
January 08, 2007
Monday Funnies
My friend at work sent this along, and it was funny.
TEN THINGS TO PONDER FOR 2007
#10 Life is sexually transmitted.
#9 Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.
#8 Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
#7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
#6 Some people are like a slinky... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
#5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing.
#4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
#3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars, and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THOUGHT FOR 2007:
We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in North America , but we haven't a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration?
Posted by Scott at 03:49 PM | Comments (2)
December 12, 2006
Stop eating soy now!!!!!!
Some people are just total nut jobs.
Well in case you were curious, your gay cause you eat too much soy. Yup that is the secret to gayness. You only think you were born gay cause you had too much soy as a baby!
Posted by Scott at 01:04 PM | Comments (1)
Cause I am bored
I saw this on Michael's blog so I figured why not....
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
I need a hair cut
2. How much cash do you have on you?
7 bucks
3. What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR?"
whore
4. Favorite planet?
earth
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
My cousin (who's baby kept dailing her cell phone)
6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
I don't really like any of my ring tones
7. What shirt are you wearing?
Some red comfy shirt I stole from my husband cause its comfy and looks good on me
8. Do you "label" yourself?
I am not a label whore
9. Name the brand of the shoes you're currently wearing?
Vans
10. Bright or dark room?
Bright
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
woof
12. What does your watch look like?
Don't wear watches
13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
sleeping
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
"Okiloveyoubyebye"
15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
no idea
16. What's a word that you say a lot?
clearly
17. Who told you he/she loved you last?
My husband
18. Last furry thing you touched?
My husbands chest
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
mmm allegra mixed with effexor xr
20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
film? your joking right?
21. Favorite age you have been so far?
29
22. Your worst enemy?
Voldermort
23. What is your current desktop picture?
I have a plain blue background color... wow thats lame....
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"I'll IM this to you cause you wont remember it"
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
million bucks
26. Do you like someone?
clearly
27. The last song you listened to?
I am listning to ramdon internet radio, I don't know the names of the songs....
28. What time of day were you born?
good question....
29. What's your favorite number?
42
30. Where did you live in 1987?
Livermore, CA
31. Are you jealous of anyone?
Nope
32. Is anyone jealous of you?
clearly
33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
In my bedroom at my parents house (CA)
34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Get annoyed and walk away
35. Do you consider yourself kind?
Ya I do
36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
I have a tattoo on my upper arm, and it looks hot
37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
I am already fluent in spanish, my brain does not need more
38. Would you move for the person you loved?
If it were the right move, yes
39. Are you touchy feely?
no not really
40. What's your life motto?
it's all good
41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
wallet, keys, cell phone
42. What's your favorite town/city?
Seattle, WA
43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
Breakfast burrito
44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
xmas cards, just mailed them out
45. Can you change the oil on a car?
Yup (I'm totally butch)
46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
The last thing I heard was his friend calling me telling me he was found dead in his car in a parking lot.
47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?
I know my grand parents
48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
Best man at my brothers wedding!
49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
Nope
50. Have you been burned by love?
Yup, and it sucks
Posted by Scott at 09:31 AM | Comments (0)
October 13, 2006
Jesus made me breakfast
I'm serious, I went to get a breakfast burrito in the cafeteria this morning and Jesus was working the grill. Jesus made me a breakfast burrito. Go Jesus, it was good too!
Posted by Scott at 09:19 AM | Comments (0)
August 29, 2006
I learned something new this morning
I learned, through personal experience and the Internet, that if you take Pepto Bismol tablets at night you can wake up with your tongue black. It freaked me OUT! But once I learned that the Pepto causes it and I was not gonna die and stuff I calmed down.....
So next time I have crazy heart burn I will try something other then Pepto Bismol (it did not work good anyway).
Posted by Scott at 08:25 AM | Comments (2)
August 23, 2006
No explanation needed!
Posted by Scott at 10:01 AM | Comments (0)
August 14, 2006
Bad Copy Editing....
I used to work at a newspaper in college so I get a kick out of errors in newspapers. I am by no means a good speller, and everyone knows I make massive grammatical errors all the time. But check this one out (click on the image to enlarge). Apparently people are all upset about people wanting to frill a wild life refuge areas in Alaska. I personally am totally against frill, and poor innocent wild creatures should be free of frill at all costs!
Posted by Scott at 04:34 PM | Comments (0)
August 09, 2006
Best SPAM email subject EVAR
Damn, you can not stop premature ejjacullation!
Posted by Scott at 08:09 PM | Comments (0)
July 20, 2006
Lets serve up some porn!
I have my resume posted on Monster.com, I am not really looking for a job but it's always good to be prepared....
Anyway I randomly get emails from recruiters, I just got one this morning in fact. It's for a Sr. Perl programming with SQL experience and all that good jazz. Web application developer basically. I am totally qualified to do this. It was what my last job was in fact. What is interesting is in the job description it says I need to be OK with adult content because this company has "several" adult sites it maintains.
HAHA, I got asked if I wanted a job working for a porn website, that totally rocks. I don't want it mind you, I want to stay in the engineering field, but it's darn funny. And it's good to know if I get laid off tomorrow I could get a good job in porn :-P
Posted by Scott at 12:40 PM | Comments (1)
July 19, 2006
Too Funny
This will make you think twice before photo copying your ass!
Posted by Scott at 02:59 PM | Comments (0)
June 21, 2006
Cause it's funny thats why!
If the link is busted I have it posted in the extended text of this post....
from craigslist
Are you tough? Violent? Rough around the edges? You can't be kept down? Do you think Jennifer Hudson is totally a better diva than Fantasia and you'd kick anyone's ass who disagrees?I'm starting up a gay gang! We'll do all the things that tough street gangs do (pick fights, steal wallets, critique b-list actresses on the red carpet) but we'll be comprised of gay men!
Now this gang isn't fancy-pansy like the ones in West Side Story. Wait, who am I kidding? It's EXACTLY like West Side Story. Only this time, Tony and Chino will have the cajones to actually get together, instead of wasting time on Natalie Wood (whose only good performance was in Rebel Without a Cause there I said it).
To join you'll have to pass a rigorous test. We can't tell you our gang name or our colors yet (and they change according to the Helmut Lang line), so you'll meet us at an undisclosed location near the Santa Monica pier.
First, you have to find an unsuspecting straight couple (preferably on a date) and mug them. Take their money, but only grab the wallet or purse if it is Burberry, Fendi, or something comparable. And be sure to mention that you thought [insert whatever the girl was wearing] went out two years ago.
Second, you have to mastermind a huge drug sale. This will be unbelievably easy, since you'll do it with E in the bathroom of The Abbey.
Third, you will be forced to get in a fight with one of the other gang hopefuls. The rest of us will be watching as you wrestle around, and you should be sure to tear some clothing and throw in a few light kisses and moans.
So if you're tough enough, just email me and we can start our gang. It doesn't matter who you are or what you look like, as long as you are attractive and have a great body.
Posted by Scott at 01:53 PM | Comments (2)
May 22, 2006
Birdie Cubicle
There is a tree right next to the entrance of the building I work in. And in this tree there is a bird that created a nest. This bird is VERY protective of it's nest. It has a tendency to attack people that walk by on their way in and out of the building.
So what is the solution? Clearly the solution is to build a HUGE cubicle around the tree. Yes I am NOT joking. There is this HUGE cubicle around this tree protecting the bird (or rather protecting us). But come on people, it's a bird, it flys over the wall and attacks anyway!
It's just so beyond ridiculous, this bird has a cubicle that is like a billion times larger then mine. I am jealous of the bird, it is treated better then me.
Posted by Scott at 06:54 PM | Comments (2)
I am the most non-conformist of them all...
Posted by Scott at 02:44 PM | Comments (2)
May 17, 2006
Dreaming
I had a dream last night that I took Jake Gyllenhaal to my buddy's cabin up in Tahoe. Nothing ever happened really because I woke up right after we arrived at the cabin. Darn!
Posted by Scott at 09:58 AM | Comments (1)
April 21, 2006
I am a Princess
My friend sent me this in an email and I thought it was funny
An airline's passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served them food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing this big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed a well-dressed rather exotic
looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me
over those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so
the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a
Princess. I take orders from no one."
To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat,
"Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you.
"Tray-up, Bitch."
Posted by Scott at 02:55 PM | Comments (1)
March 08, 2006
Dreams.....
I had the weirdest dream last night. It involed this hot guy from work, we will from now on in this post refer to him as "woofy guy". He has a real nickname but his nickname has his real name in it so I am not going to use it on my blog. So woofy guy, he is this guy that works here and he is hot, cute and totally furry. Woofy guy is actually a friend of a fiend of mine from work but I do not actually know him. But I have noticed woofy guy is friends with woofy water fountain guy so that is kinda hot seeing them together (yes there are many people at work that have nick names).
OK on to the dream!
A bunch of us were at a restaurant (or bar) and we were all sitting at a table eat (or drinking). Woofy guy was not part of the group at the table. Woofy guy was in the bathroom (which just happened to be directly across from me) and he had the door open and he was banging some chick. Then after they were finished he was left there (with the door open) so that we could see him in all his glory. And let me tell you had had fabulous chest fur and a HUGE "talent". Then.... some fat chick comes in and he starts banging her! That is where the dream ended.
Why are my dreams so weird? If it's my dream and I think woofy guy is hot, should he and I not be doing something? Apparently not cause in my dreams woofy guy is banging chicks.
Maybe my subconscious knows that I would never cheat on my man so my brain keeps my dreams strictly to eye candy only.
Anyway, I just had to share my dream of woofy guy, in the bathroom, banging chicks.....
Posted by Scott at 01:14 PM | Comments (1)
February 23, 2006
Cheney's Got a Gun
Posted by Scott at 08:19 PM | Comments (0)
January 12, 2006
Bum ramblings
The "fun" thing about taking light rail to work is the "colorful" people that you encounter on and around the trains. While waiting for the train this morning there was this crazy bum rambling on and on with totally nonsensical gibberish.
There was one piece of rambling that caught my attention. Mind you I may not have interpreted it right, but this is what I heard.
...that bitch from little house of the prairie...fucked a nigger through the keyhole...made me lose my hard-on...
Ya... that was odd.....
Posted by Scott at 10:50 AM | Comments (1)
January 11, 2006
Wednesday funnies!
We all enjoy a good joke making fun of our president! A friend sent this to me today:
Donald Rumsfeld gave the president his daily briefing. He concluded by saying: "Yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"Oh no!" the president exclaimed. "That's terrible!"
His staff was stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sat, his head in his hands.
Finally, the president looked up and asked, "Exactly how many is a brazillion?"
Posted by Scott at 08:47 AM | Comments (0)
January 04, 2006
Rocking out on the freeway!
I was driving to work today and I noticed this guy behind me in rear view mirror. First off he looked kinda cute. Cute face and nice beard. Totally woofy cub. Anyway he was totally rocking out in his car. I mean full body arms waving rocking out, and clearly singinig in his car. And what makes it even more cool is this was a total business man. He was driving in a luxury car and had a suit and tie. But totally rocking out. I love watching people rock out on the freeway. I know I do it all the time.
Do you rock out in your car on the freeway?
Posted by Scott at 08:13 AM | Comments (1)
November 30, 2005
Holiday Christmas light show
OK I would normally never do this but it's totally worth it. This video is in windows media player format, and for all you mac people, like me, that would mean you need to go to the evil empires website and download the player. But I promise you it's well worth it and you will not be dissapointed.
Now...On to the super funtastic Holiday Light Show!
Posted by Scott at 09:05 AM | Comments (2)
October 20, 2005
So wrong, yet so funny
Posted by Scott at 01:22 PM | Comments (2)
August 18, 2005
FUKITOL
Posted by Scott at 03:09 PM | Comments (1)
July 08, 2005
Masturbating for Dracula's ghost
There was this part later on in the dream where both I and my buddy Ben are in a bathroom stall together jacking off (for Dracula's ghost).
That's it, that is when I woke up, before even either I or Ben got off. Very sad. I tell you, I was not having these weird dreams until I started to taper of my anxiety drugs. It's weird!
*if you are wondering why the random pic of hot man on this post, it is because he played Dracula in Blade Trinity
Posted by Scott at 09:10 AM | Comments (5)
June 27, 2005
OMG I am old!
I was at the mall this weekend when some kid ran into me. When I mean kid I don't mean some 5 year old, I mean some early teen type kid. And do you know what he said to me? He said, "Sorry sir."
I was like "Eww girl you did NOT just call me sir!"
Then I went home and cried and ate my prunes......
Posted by Scott at 01:10 PM | Comments (2)
June 20, 2005
Anti Gay Phone Companies
LOL ok this is TOOOO funny. So here are a few phone recording and this organization that calls you trying to get you to switch to a christian phone company because the major phone companies are EVIL and support the gays.
Posted by Scott at 09:49 AM | Comments (1)
June 17, 2005
I speak good english!
I saw this over on Patrick's site so I took the test.
Your Linguistic Profile: |
| 65% General American English |
| 20% Yankee |
| 10% Upper Midwestern |
| 5% Dixie |
| 0% Midwestern |
Posted by Scott at 02:08 PM | Comments (0)
June 16, 2005
Don't pick up your ho at the green light!
The hubby and I were returning from watching Batman Begins and we were stopped at this intersection before the bridge that leads to the loft. When the person in front of us decides not to go on the green light, instead he decides to let his hooker into the car. After this the lights then decided to go through FOUR cycles missing us EACH time. See what that %^&*()_ did? His ignoring the green light to pick up his hooker pissed of the light and it was ignoring us! He eventually had to abort and turn right onto the bridge.
We actually went past the loft to hit up walgreens to get Nyquil which means we kinda followed this bastard. Where did he end up turning? Into the adult motel/trailer park entrance. That bastard!
Just to set the record straight, if you need to pick up your ho I am all down with that, but don't you DARE make me miss a green light to pick up you ho!
Posted by Scott at 08:48 PM | Comments (1)
May 25, 2005
OMG! How embarassing, but I will post it anyway
Click on the pic to see the larger version. Enjoy.
Posted by Scott at 09:43 AM | Comments (3)
May 09, 2005
Monday Morning Quiz Show!
I am bored so I am going to make a little quiz for all my readers. Here is what is going to happen. I am going to give several quotes, I want you to name the show and the character that said that quote. Got it? Answers go in the comments.
- Snarf
- Optimus NOOOO!!!!!!!!
- Narf!
- and knowing is half the battle
- By the power of greyskull!
- moon prisim power!
- Super Wave Smasher!
Posted by Scott at 09:49 AM | Comments (2)
April 25, 2005
Microsoft, shame on you!
Poor Microsoft. Not that I care, I think they are an evil company, and all homos should boycott them on the grounds that having Apple computers is way more fashionable anyway!
Posted by Scott at 02:42 PM | Comments (1)
April 20, 2005
Porn star banana
I bought breakfast here at work which I have a tendency to do. Part of that breakfast was a banana. This banana is abnormally huge. If I wrap my hand around it, my thumb and fingers don't meet, that is how thick it is!
So I have named this banana, the porn star banana.
Posted by Scott at 09:07 AM | Comments (4)
April 19, 2005
Well FRACK!!!!!
OK, so I crashed my bike on the way to work today. But wait, I crashed it before I even got to the light rail station. For those of you that don't know, the light rail station is 1.1 miles from my loft. So within 1.1 miles I managed to totally whip out on my bike.
It at least could have been some sort of heroic crash, where I sacrificed myself to save come baby in a baby carriage or something, but no. I managed to eat it, at full speed, for no apparent reason, in front of a line of cars. Nothing like an audience to see you speeding along then all of a sudden explode all over the place for no reason.
So now I jammed my finger which makes it hard to type and hard to use my brake on my bike. I have totally humiliated myself (rock on).
Today is clearly shaping up to be a good day :) Well at least I did not miss my train.
Posted by Scott at 08:33 AM | Comments (1)
November 24, 2004
My Super Hero Self
**BTW you can click on the image to see a larger version.
Posted by Scott at 02:26 PM | Comments (0)
November 23, 2004
Weird Dreams
Ya that is about the extent of the dream, don't really remember anymore. But I do remember one thing. Jason had no fur on him, I was really disappointed! I was hopping he would be all furry. I don't know what it is about that boy, but he is just kinda hot. Am I alone in thinking this?
Posted by Scott at 02:41 PM | Comments (0)
November 19, 2004
Dancing Car!
I have seen this mentioned around but I never actually bothered to look at the video until today. It rocks! The car is a real live transformer! Check it out NOW.
Posted by Scott at 10:50 AM | Comments (0)
November 04, 2004
A friend emailed this to me
Friends, our path is clear!
Posted by Scott at 02:10 PM | Comments (0)
September 03, 2004
Off to the tittie bar
My brother is getting married this weekend. I originally had a nifty bachelor party planned but that plan fell through, and my bro said he did not have time for a party so I never made backup plans. Well tonight we are going out for drinks with a few of his friends. Little does he know that what is really going to happen is he will be kidnapped and taken to the tittie bar.
I have actually been to this place before. I went for a bachelor party, way back in the days when no one knew I was a homo. So I had to pretend like I liked it when the stripper shoved my faces I her breasts (an event I am still traumatized by btw). This time should be interesting cause everyone knows I am gay. I will be checking out the men I guess. Although I should be careful doing that cause as anyone that knows me knows, I am NOT subtle when I look at guys. I can't help it, I just don't care. If your hot, I am going to look at you (or probably stare).
This should be a fun night though cause I get to see one of my buddies that I have not seen in over a year. I always referred to him as my straight boyfriend. There are few straight guys that are as cool with the homoness as him. He always went to the homo bars with me and friends. I even used to live with him for a while. I tried hard to get him into the sac but it never worked. Now he says he wants to see my PA when he comes to town. All that time trying to get him interested in my wang and it turns out all I had to do is get a PA!
Posted by Scott at 10:30 AM | Comments (0)
August 31, 2004
Don't Drink and Drive
This story right here is the most messed up thing I have read. This guy got sloppy ass drunk and decided it would be fun to drive himself and his buddy home. On the way home he apparently hit a support wire for a telephone poll. His buddy, just happened to be sticking his head out of the car when the accident happened. The result was a decapitated friend. But the kicker is his drunk off his ass friend didn't even realize this happened, he drove home and went to bed. He was still in his cloths that were soaked in blood, and his friends decapitated body was in his truck parked outside.
This guy should not only be jailed, he needs to be castrated to ensure he does not reproduce and create more idiot to populate the world.
Posted by Scott at 02:48 PM | Comments (0)
August 18, 2004
Make love to the weight machine....
I was at the gym this morning doing my squats and lunges. Then one of my gym crushes comes into the leg area to do some calf exercises. He sure is a cutie, specially when all sweaty. Anyway I am doing my exercises and I see him on this machine, leaning back holding on the handle pumping hard, then he lets go with one of the hands and just leaves on hand on the handle. The first thing that ran through my mind was "ya! You go boy, ride that machine! Make love to the machine, FUCK that machine!" I really wish I could describe this better but I can't I think you just had to be there. Strangely it does not lower my opinion of his hotness.
Posted by Scott at 09:54 AM | Comments (0)
August 15, 2004
Afterglow interupted
Sometimes you just have to laugh you know...
My kittens like to wrestle when they play together. In fact they do this a lot.
So Roque and I had just finished have some great sex and we were laying in bed with that afterglow action going on. When all of a sudden two kittens locked together in some complicated wrestling position rolled onto my face and stopped there. I even tried to sit up and they were still on my face till they eventually jumped off. There was nothing else left to do, Roque and I just started to bust up laughing. I mean seriously, could there have been anything funnier happen?
Posted by Scott at 02:57 PM | Comments (0)
August 13, 2004
Sometimes you just feel like posting stupid crap
Posted by Scott at 02:03 PM | Comments (0)
Messing with the straight boys
So I am a car guy. More specifically I am a VW guy. I even go out to the local VW club (SacWater). There are also forums that everyone in SacWater regularly participates in. Most of the guys in the forums have never even known a gay guy, so all they really know are stereotypes. Some are genuinely homophobic but I would say most are just ignorant. Most of the time I don't want to bother educating them as to the ways of gay, but sometimes I like to mess with them. You all know me, I am not one to keep my mouth shut. If they can talk about hot chicks in the forums, I can talk about hot guys.
Anyway here is a thread from the forums that I found particularly funny. They just don't seem to know what to make of me and my fascination with hairy men. I am the user "aggiepm" my buddy Mikey is "ducati" the rest are just members of the club. Check it out, its funny.
Posted by Scott at 10:02 AM | Comments (0)
August 02, 2004
Smell those pits, WOOF!
Posted by Scott at 04:26 PM | Comments (0)
Happy Monday!
Well today is monday and everyone needs a good laugh on a Monday. So on that note I am posting some small video clips of Olympic events gone bad. They are kinda said, yet oh so funny. Enjoy
Posted by Scott at 10:22 AM | Comments (0)
May 06, 2004
More quizzes to waste my time
I AM 38% METROSEXUAL!  I may own more than two pair of dress shoes, and maybe a designer suit, but I don’t mind going to the grocery store in sweats. And I may even go a day or two without a shower. |
Posted by Scott at 09:20 PM | Comments (0)
April 16, 2004
Your Friday Funnies
My Buddy just sent me these pics in an email and I just had to post them cause they are funny. I hope you enjoy them and I hope they make your Friday just a little bit more bearable.
Posted by Scott at 12:27 PM | Comments (0)
April 13, 2004
It happened again!
Second day in a row a guy followed me from the hot tub to the shower at the gym. I must be got it going on lately!
Posted by Scott at 11:05 PM | Comments (0)
karma is coming, hide your children
Karma is a funny thing. OK so Ben and I are kinda bad at the gym, we are always totally checking out guys. We just can't help it, so much eye candy at gym ;-) Anyway so we were in the hot tub and there was this guy totally checking me out. Kinda creepy, he was not ugly mind you, but not all that either. And he had no shame it was totally checking me out.
Anyway this hot guy got out of the steam room and we decide it was a good time to hit the showers....right ;-) Well hot guy didn't even take a shower. But guess who decided to take a shower when we went in...oh ya creepy guy. I could not help but think that this was karma. Anyway I figured whatever, go ahead and take a look, cause your never gonna get it. He never took his shorts off in the shower, which clearly only means one thing, small dick.
Posted by Scott at 12:53 AM | Comments (0)
April 05, 2004
HSP: Homo Sensory Perception
We have all heard of ESP right? Well I have decided we need a homo version of ESP, and I will call it HSP: Homo Sensory Perception. Stick with me here, there is actually a reason why I thought of this.
My buddy Ben and I were driving to bowling Sunday evening, when there was this guy in a muscle shirt driving a jeep in front of us. You could not see his face, but you could see enough to see he was wearing a muscle shirt and had a goatee. I say to Ben “I wonder if he is woofy?” Then instantly the guy turns his head and looks at us! Freaky! It’s like he totally knew what I had said. So clearly, this boy had HSP. He just knew we were discussing his woofy status.
Posted by Scott at 06:01 PM | Comments (0)
March 30, 2004
“What if I never saw another junk email?”
That was the subject of an email I just got. I replied, and this is what I said:
If I never saw another junk mail, I would not have gotten your email.
I am sure their email address was fake and this response will bounce, but whatever, I needed to express myself.
Posted by Scott at 06:37 PM | Comments (0)
March 17, 2004
Time for some funnies
Click on this. It is work safe provided you have headphones, otherwise it's not. I highly recommend you check it out cause it's damn funny.
You can thank Ben for finding this for me.
Posted by Scott at 02:17 PM | Comments (0)
March 12, 2004
War of the Roses
Here in Sacramento we have this morning show were every week they do something called “War of the Roses”. They get the female host to call up a man. Pretend to be some flower shop or something giving away free stuff (like a dozen long stem roses) and they see who he sends it to. Usually the wife or girlfriend is on the line while this is happening and the whole point is to see if he is cheating on her. If he sends the roses to his mistress he is toast, if he sends it to his wife/girlfriend then all is good.
I was telling Roque this morning what I would say if he did this to me:
Yes I would like you to send these roses to Russell Crowe. I would like the card to say:
Leave your wife and let me show you how a man can please you. I can do things to you that would make you pass out in pure ecstasy.
Love Scott
I think that is a perfectly reasonable thing to do right?
Posted by Scott at 12:42 PM | Comments (0)
March 10, 2004
I NEVER HAVE...
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DRUNK (_) I NEVER HAVE SMOKED POT (_) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX (_) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX (X) I NEVER CRASHED A FRIEND'S CAR (X) I NEVER BEEN TO JAPAN (_) I NEVER RODE IN A TAXI (_) I NEVER HAD ANAL SEX (_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN IN LOVE (_) I NEVER HAD SEX (_) I NEVER HAVE HAD SEX IN PUBLIC (_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DUMPED (X) I NEVER SHOPLIFTED (X) I NEVER HAVE BEEN FIRED (X) I NEVER BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT (X) I NEVER HAD A THREESOME (X) I NEVER SNUCK OUT OF MY PARENT'S HOUSE (_) I NEVER BEEN TIED UP (SEXUALLY) (X) I NEVER BEEN CAUGHT MASTURBATING (_) I NEVER PISSED ON MYSELF (_) I NEVER HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX (X) I NEVER HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX (X) I NEVER BEEN ARRESTED (_) I NEVER MADE OUT WITH A STRANGER (_) I NEVER STOLE SOMETHING FROM MY JOB (X) I NEVER CELEBRATED NEW YEARS IN TIME SQUARE (_) I NEVER WENT ON A BLIND DATE (X) I NEVER LIED TO A FRIEND (_) I NEVER HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER (X) I NEVER CELEBRATED MARDI-GRAS IN NEW ORLEANS (X) I NEVER BEEN TO EUROPE (_) I NEVER SKIPPED SCHOOL (X) I NEVER SLEPT WITH A CO-WORKER (X) I NEVER HAVE BEEN FISTED AND/OR HAVE NEVER FISTED ANYONE (X) I NEVER HAVE THROWN UP IN A BAR (_) I NEVER HAVE JERKED OFF ON CAM (X) I NEVER HAVE MASTURBATED IN A WORK/OFFICE BATHROOM (X) I NEVER HAVE BEEN TO A NUDE BEACH
TO PLAY I NEVER. PUT AN (X) IN FRONT OF THE THINGS THAT YOU HAVE NEVER DONE BEFORE AND A (_) ON THE THINGS THAT YOU HAVE DONE AT LEAST ONCE. ADD A "I NEVER" OF YOUR OWN.
Thanks to Ken for this one :)
Posted by Scott at 04:26 PM | Comments (0)
February 26, 2004
Um...ya....
You're Thailand!
Calmer and more staunchly independent than almost all those around you,
you have a long history of rising above adversity. Recent adversity has led to questions
about your sexual promiscuity and the threat of disease, but you still manage to attract a
number of tourists and admirers. And despite any setbacks, you can really cook a good
meal whenever it's called for. Good enough to make people cry.
Take the Country
Quiz at the Blue Pyramid
Posted by Scott at 01:56 PM | Comments (0)
February 18, 2004
hehe
My friend just emailed this to me:
THE HETEROSEXUAL QUESTIONAIRE
1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?2. When and how did you decide you were a heterosexual?
3. Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase you might grow out of?
4. Is it possible that your heterosexuality stems neurotic fear of others of the same sex?
5. If you have never slept with a person of the same sex, is it possible that all you need is a good gay lover?
6. Do your parents know that you are straight? Do your friends/roommates know? How did they react?
7. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?
8. A disporportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual. Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual teachers and/or troop leaders?
9. Just what do men and women do in bed together? How can they truly know how to please each other, being so anatomically different?
10. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. Have you considered trying aversion therapy?
Posted by Scott at 07:40 PM | Comments (0)
February 13, 2004
Yes as a matter of fact I do rock
You are a True Elitist. Not like those stupid ass
1337 Speakers, you are the best kind there is.
You are irritated with bad
spelling/puncuation/grammar and let it be
known. You constantly find yourself ranting
about things that irritate you and somehow
people agree- even those who are the offenders!
You probably have charisma coming out of your
pores, but are way too elitist to just befriend
-anyone-. You, my friend, rock.
What Internet Personality Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Posted by Scott at 06:31 PM | Comments (0)
Homowatts
My friends and I were having a discussion at lunch today. We were talking about how men are completely different from women in that we have a massive sex drive and like to get it on at all times. And women are all about settling down. Anyway my buddy commented on how if only there were a way to harness a gay mans sexual energy.
Introducing Homowatts, good, clean, environmentally friendly, homo powered energy. Through our advanced energy conversion techniques we are able to harness the sexual energy of a horny gay man. Our power plant is a large brothel in the back. Pumping out homowatts to power your home!
Homowatts, the power of the future!
*Homowatts is currently seeking new employees that are full of life and energy. Our employment slogan is “a job for every ho.”
Posted by Scott at 04:31 PM | Comments (0)
February 10, 2004
Scott, the hero
I just can't not take these quizzes, I am like a crack addict. Then I always post the results here for others, like a crack dealer. Hmmm....
Posted by Scott at 12:23 PM | Comments (0)
February 03, 2004
My very own fan club!
So I have a funny story to tell. This actually happened last Friday, and I should have blogged about it, but I was a slacker and did not. I am fixing that little no-no right now by blogging about it now.
I am at work, chill’n at my desk when this email appears in my inbox with the subject “Hello”. I open said email. It’s from this random girl at work. She said she has seen me in the café and just wanted to say hi cause I seemed nice. WOW, interesting. I just totally got hit on by a woman I don’t know, at work, via email! I am that irresistible, what can I say.
It would have been rude not to even acknowledge the email so I write back. I say hi and that I have no idea who she is, but thank her for the compliment. When I get back from lunch there is another email from her. This one was even more bold. She told me that she usually sees me in the café in the morning when I get breakfast. She also said she could not be missed cause she is the one “with the curly red hair that I have caught staring at me.” NICE…..
Well now I am clearly being hit on I need to lay the smack down on this poor girl, cause she is totally barking up the wrong tree. I write back nicely informing her that I am a flaming homogay and that her efforts will go unrewarded.
I get one email back from her, she thanked me for being honest and upfront about it.
In all this little straight drama made Friday rather interesting.
Posted by Scott at 07:14 PM | Comments (0)
January 22, 2004
Why when I was a kid…..
My buddy sent me this link today and it’s darn funny. I demand you go check it out this instant!
Posted by Scott at 04:02 PM | Comments (0)
January 14, 2004
To funny not to share
Go check out this link, its worth it! :)
Posted by Scott at 02:18 PM | Comments (0)
January 08, 2004
In One Govenator We Trust
Posted by Scott at 02:08 PM | Comments (0)
January 06, 2004
How Gay Are You?
 Pure GayYou are a fucking homosexual! You enjoy getting rammed in the ass, and being spanked by your father! You sick bastard! |
| "How gay are you?" is available here Planet Boredom Quiz |
Posted by Scott at 05:19 PM | Comments (0)
The Christina Aguilera field
OK so a co-worker and I were working on designing a database. There is this one field that stores whether something is clean or dirty. We decided that we should call this field the “Christina Aguilera” field. So this is what happens when you get two homo’s together designing databases.
And its not like anyone would EVER know we did that….. hehe
Sorry about this one, it was total geek humor I know.
Posted by Scott at 01:26 PM | Comments (0)
January 02, 2004
Why do I take these quizzes
Was there every any doubt? hehe, I don't know why I take these quizzes. Good times, good times...
Gay Bear
Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Posted by Scott at 05:32 PM | Comments (0)
December 30, 2003
How accurate are these things anyway...
Goof Off - Your ideal guy is the silly and wacky
goof off. He's simply adorable in everything he
does, wether it be cheesy pranks, stupid jokes,
or just smiling. He holds an innocent and naive
outlook on life.
Turn ons: He's always upbeat so you'll never have
to pick up the broken pieces of his heart.
Turn offs: He doesn't know when to turn OFF the
funny and can embarrass you or not understand
when you need to seriously talk.
What is your ideal type of guy? (With Pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla
Posted by Scott at 03:23 AM | Comments (0)
December 18, 2003
Help a lonely bot out: more IM fun
I was just sitting there at work and this person messages me on yahoo messenger. The thing I don’t like about yahoo is that there are a lot of bots that talk to you. Um I don’t necessarily like talking to people, much less bots. But sometimes they are kinda funny, here is my conversation with goofoffgurl69. Note, I am leaving in the bots typo’s I guess the programmer must think it makes it more real if its bot can’t spell.
goofoffgurl69: hii…anyone there?
aggiepm: I am here
goofoffgurl69: oh your there :) hi…
aggiepm: hi
goofoffgurl69: a/s/l (age sex location)?
aggiepm: why
goofoffgurl69: im 27/f/USA. Was lookin at your profile. Thought you might like to chat.
aggiepm: well hey
aggiepm: whats up
goofoffgurl69: so what have you been up to aggiepmm?
goofoffgurl69: cool. I was just hagin out watching tv. I was getting kinda horny :)
aggiepm: well I guess that is a problem
goofoffgurl69: feel like a little cyber fun with me? please please…
aggiepm: um if you did actually look at my profile you would have noticed I am a raging homogay
goofoffgurl69: oh your gay…lol…ok cya
Posted by Scott at 02:02 PM | Comments (0)
December 12, 2003
Everyone loves funny links
First I just want to start off by saying I was driving to work today and saw this jeep wrangler on the road. I pull up along side and there is a guy, and this head bobbing up and down on his lap. His girlfriend was blowing him! Nice, I was kinda jealous.
OK some link fun.
- This guy is clearly having a bad day
- Um bow down to the wonders of this chick
Posted by Scott at 12:01 PM | Comments (0)
December 11, 2003
You might be a redneck if…
Posted by Scott at 05:28 PM | Comments (1)
It's good to be validated
Kyan is by far my favorite, not only is he hot and seemingly a nice guy, but he is furry too, woof!
Kyan: Grooming Guru
Which Member from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is your type?
brought to you by Quizilla
Posted by Scott at 10:48 AM | Comments (0)
December 07, 2003
I always kinda suspected
WOW!What a suprise!You're "Gay White
Trash!" You are shunned by all of the gay
world, you probally smell, you're most likely
ugly, and nobody likes you.
What kind of queer are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Posted by Scott at 08:42 PM | Comments (0)
November 19, 2003
Some fun linkage
Here are a couple of links I found via others blogs. They are rather funny and since I like funny stuff and I am sure others like funny stuff, here they are!
Posted by Scott at 10:02 AM | Comments (0)
October 23, 2003
Was there ever any doubt? Well...was there?
You are Maggie Simpson! Not many people know much
about you and your real personality is closley
hidden. You are creative and not afraid to be
an individual. If you want to do something, you
do it, and are resourceful and effective.
* Which Simpsons Character are You??? *
brought to you by Quizilla
Posted by Scott at 08:17 AM | Comments (0)
October 20, 2003
I cannot stress enough how NOT work safe this is
This is just SO incredibly wrong, but I have to post it. And like the title says, I cannot stress enough how NOT work safe this is.
Posted by Scott at 06:50 PM | Comments (0)
Random IRC fun
I need to take my mind out of the gutter. Keep in mind both me and my friend here are always having our minds in the gutter. (I am aggiepm btw)
ducati: peaches are fuzzy
ducati: peaches have pits
aggiepm: I know where this is going…
ducati: what?
aggiepm: oh wait maybe I don’t
aggiepm: sorry
* aggiepm: takes mind out of gutter
ducati: aggiepm likes fuzzy pits therefore he likes peaches qed.
aggiepm: lol…see you were thinking it too!
aggiepm: It’s not just me damn it!
Posted by Scott at 09:44 AM | Comments (0)
October 17, 2003
Because....
Posted by Scott at 01:05 PM | Comments (0)
October 14, 2003
Something Shiny
Ben and I were at the gym last night getting ready to hit the hot tub after our workout when in the locker room I noticed something I wish I had really not noticed. There was this old nasty queen and he was getting undressed and I noticed something shiny and it caught my attention (as much as I did not want it to). He was sporting a fat cock ring. I immediately divert my eyes and say to Ben “Oh God I wish I had not seen that.” Now Ben is all curious and wants to know what the hell it is but at the same does totally does not want to know. He asked me why I looked over there and I said I could not help it cause something shiny caught my eye. This of course causes Ben to look cause he wants to know what the shiny thing is.
So now thanks to this unnatural need to see what the “shiny” object is we have both been mentally violated by the image.
Posted by Scott at 07:18 AM | Comments (0)
October 10, 2003
Ending Road Rage
My buddy was telling me today in the car that through “random” surfing of the net he ended up at some sex toys website. And in the closeout bin I guess they had cigarette lighter powered vibrators.
Now this knowledge has some interesting implications. First you could have masses of drivers out there waiting to have accidents because they are way to busy with their vibrator while driving. But there is one good outcome, happy drivers. I mean this could totally cure road rage. Can you not just see the slogan, “Don’t get angry, have an orgasm!”
Posted by Scott at 09:46 AM | Comments (0)
October 09, 2003
Funny AIM converstaions
A random piece of AIM converstaion with me and Ben in reference to the currrent poll.
Scott: well so far trimming is winning in my poll. All those wimps afraid to take a blade to their sac.
Ben: lol
Scott: real men shave their sac with a straight edge!
Ben:LOL!
Posted by Scott at 03:09 PM | Comments (0)
September 15, 2003
What's Your Alcohoroscope?
This email was sent to me by Chad. I am a Libra so I will post libra here, to see the rest of the signs just click the Read More link.
LIBRADrinking style:
"Jusht a social drinker," slurs Libra, "it's jusht that I'm so damn social?"
Libra loves nothing more than to party, mingle and relate to everyone.
Whether dipped in favor of Good Libra (with Insta-Friend device set to "on")
or heavier on the Evil Libra side (they are little instigators when bored),
the Scales can really work a room. Charming as they are, Libras are
notoriously lacking in self-control, however, which can get them into all
sorts of trouble -- including wearing their wobbly boots waaaay too early in
the evening, flirting with their best friend's beau or even blacking out the
night's events entirely. Oops!Trademark cocktails:
Aesthetic Libras like pretty, pouffy drinks like a pink lady or a brandy
Alexander. That's the influence of Venus, their ruling planet, which also
gives them a horror of crudely named potions like Sex on the Beach. They're
fine with "normal" guzzles like apple martinis, but every Libra secretly just
wants Champagne, and lots of it.Drinking buddies:
Jimmy Carter, Simon Cowell, Ani DiFranco, Janeane Garofalo, Hugh Jackman,
Martina Navratilova, Gwyneth Paltrow, Sting, Oscar Wilde, Catherine Zeta-Jones
Alcohoroscopesby Jen Rummy
ARIES
Drinking Style:
Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometimes don't know when to call it
a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to closing-time shot
contests. They're sloppy, fun drunks, and they get mighty flirty after a
couple tipples. Getting Aries people drunk is a good way to get what you want
out of them, should other methods fail. Aries can become bellicose when
blotto, but they will assume that whatever happened should be forgiven (if
not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be counted on to do the same for you --
so long as you haven't gone and done anything really horrible to them last
night, you sneaky Gemini.Trademark cocktails:
Aries, born under the hot-stuff planet Mars, is the ruler of spicy food and
red things -- and for balance, astrologers recommend they eat tomatoes,
onions, olives and greens. That's right, Aries, you were born under the sign
of the bloody Mary. Aries also rules grapefruit, and they've been known to
kick back a salty dog and a sea breeze or two. For extreme hotcha, try a
concoction with cinnamon liqueur in it.Drinking buddies:
Marlon Brando, Lawrence Ferlinghetti, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Al Gore, Thomas
Jefferson, Elton John, Eric McCormack, Rosie O'Donnell, Sarah Jessica Parker,
Reese WitherspoonTAURUS
Drinking style:
Taurus prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming for a mellow glow rather
than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated Taurus is a one-person
stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop inebriate who spills red wine on
white carpets and tells fart jokes to employers, the preference for wining
and dining (or Bud and buddies) to body shots and barfing is quite fortunate
for the rest of us. This is not to say that the Bull is by any means a
teetotaler -- god, no. A squiffy Taurus will get, er, gregarious (full of
loudmouth soup, some would say) and is extremely amusing to drag to a karaoke
bar when intoxicated.Trademark cocktails:
Early-to-bed Taureans need a picker-upper -- try a Red Bull and vodka. They
also have a leviathan sweet tooth and are fond of drinks with names that
sound like dessert (50-50 bar, mudslide). Sweetly caffeinated drinks, like
Irish coffee or white Russians, are ideal. More macho Taureans will go for
something unpretentious, like a Jack and Coke or whiskey sour.Drinking buddies:
Cate Blanchett, Tony Blair, Pierce Brosnan, Cher, Penelope Cruz, William
Randolph Hearst, Jerry Seinfeld, Barbara Striesand, Uma Thurman, Renee
ZellwegerGEMINI
Drinking style:
Geminis can drink without changing their behavior much -- they're so
naturally chatty and short-attention-spanned that it's just hard to tell
sometimes. They can amaze you by conversing with finesse and allusion, then
doing something to belie an extremely advanced state of intoxication, like
puking in your shoe. Geminis possess the magic ability to flirt successfully
(and uninfuriatingly, which is very tricky) with several people at once. They
like to order different cocktails every round -- repetition is boring -- and
may create a theme (like yellow drinks: beer, sauvignon blanc and limoncello)
for their own amusement.Trademark cocktails:
Easily bored Geminis need some stimulation in their drinks -- those with two
parts, like a black and tan (or just a double), are particularly appealing.
Otherwise, they'll drink all over the map, ordering frou-frou drinks to add
to their collection of cocktail monkeys or going for whiskey rocks because
they're feeling rather noir. Gemini rules the herb anise -- make some home-
infused anise vodka as a gift.Drinking buddies:
George Bush Sr., Johnny Depp, Rupert Everett, Boy George, Allen Ginsberg,
Angelina Jolie, John Kennedy, Ian McKellen, Kylie Minogue, MorrisseyCANCER
Drinking style:
Cancer is a comfort drinker -- and an extra wine with dinner or an after-work
beer or six can be extra comforting, can't it, Cancer darling? Like fellow
water signs Scorpio and Pisces, Crabs must guard against lushery. Cancers are
brilliant at ferreting out secret parties and insinuating themselves on VIP
lists -- and, in true Hollywood style, Cancers are never really drunk;
instead, they get "tired and emotional" (read: weepy when lubricated). But
there's nothing better than swapping stories (and spit) over a few bottles of
inky red wine with your favorite Cancer. Even your second-favorite Cancer
will do.Trademark cocktails:
Ruled by the moon, Cancers are intrigued by the idea of moonshine -- any
brown booze, from a bourbon press to a whiskey and soda to grandpappy's
special brew in a mason jar, will do. They also like comfortingly warm and
sweet drinks, like hot toddies and hot buttered rums. The sign also rules the
flavor vanilla, and you'd be adored if you served up a vanilla vodka and soda.Drinking buddies:
Pamela Anderson, George W. Bush, Bill Cosby, Tom Cruise, Harrison Ford, Sean
Hayes, Lil' Kim, George Michael, Princess Diana, Prince WilliamLEO
Drinking style:
Leo likes to drink and dance -- they're often fabulous dancers, and usually
pretty good drinkers as well, losing their commanding dignity and turning
kittenish. Of course, they're quite aware they're darling -- Leos will be
Leos, after all. They generally know their limit, probably because they
loathe losing self-control. When they get over-refreshed, expect flirting to
ensue -- and perhaps not with the one what brung them. But Leo's not the type
to break rules even when drunk, so just try to ignore it (try harder, Cancer)
and expect a sheepish (and hung over) Lion to make it up to you the next day.Trademark cocktails:
Leos like flashy drinks, be they complicated tropical concoctions festooned
with umbrellas, like a Bahama mama or the more common strawberry daiquiri or
mai tai. Indeed, they often have a taste for the fruity -- try a screwdriver,
or add an extra cherry to the next Manhattan. Their sense of drama lends
itself to a kir royale, of course.Drinking buddies:
Ben Affleck, Gillian Anderson, Bill Clinton, Monica Lewinsky, Jennifer Lopez,
Madonna, Debra Messing, Kevin Spacey, Martha Stewart, Andy WarholVIRGO
Drinking style:
Cerebral Virgos are compelled to impose order onto their bender. Their
famously fussy quest for purity could lead to drinking less than other signs,
sure -- but it could also lead to drinking booze neat, to sucking down
organic wine or just to brand loyalty. They rarely get fully shellacked --
but, oh, when they do! Virgo's controlled by the intellect, but there's an
unbridled beast lurking within, and they let it loose when walloped. It's
dead sexy (and surprisingly unsloppy). As one Virgo friend used to
declare, "I'm going to drink myself into a low level of intelligence
tonight." A toast to the subgenius IQ!Trademark cocktails:
Many Virgos prefer clear, simple, untreacly drinks like vodka tonic or a real
margarita, though you'll find 'em drinking anything -- from unflinchingly
downing Cuervo straight to smirkingly ordering a dirty virgin. They also tend
to like bitter, low-alk guzzles like Campari and soda. They rarely change
their drink once they've found it, however.Drinking buddies:
Cameron Diaz, Hugh Grant, Christopher Isherwood, Michael Jackson, Freddie
Mercury, Carrie-Anne Moss, Dorothy Parker, Ryan Philippe, Keanu Reeves, Lily
TomlinLIBRA
Drinking style:
"Jusht a social drinker," slurs Libra, "it's jusht that I'm so damn social?"
Libra loves nothing more than to party, mingle and relate to everyone.
Whether dipped in favor of Good Libra (with Insta-Friend device set to "on")
or heavier on the Evil Libra side (they are little instigators when bored),
the Scales can really work a room. Charming as they are, Libras are
notoriously lacking in self-control, however, which can get them into all
sorts of trouble -- including wearing their wobbly boots waaaay too early in
the evening, flirting with their best friend's beau or even blacking out the
night's events entirely. Oops!Trademark cocktails:
Aesthetic Libras like pretty, pouffy drinks like a pink lady or a brandy
Alexander. That's the influence of Venus, their ruling planet, which also
gives them a horr